I Heart Darkness

Well, it’s been a crazy couple of weeks.  I would like to apologize to anyone (Mirela Watson) who has experienced personal trauma due to the fact that I have not updated my blog in a while.  I am truly sorry for this.  

Anyways,  I thought it would be nice to give my friends some insight into what my life is like these days.  Judging by the title of the blog one may be thinking that I am going to dive into some really deep and heavy stuff.  Or  I could share about my recent musical phase of listening to bands like “Taking Back Sunday”, “Brand New”, and “Something Corporate” for the past 3 weeks.   Or we could talk about that one time my brother wanted to change his name to ZION, dyed his hair green, threw on some eye liner and performed his song called “The Scary Mirrors” at  halftime of Super Bowl  XXXIV in our living room.   Actually, that last one may be way too dark to talk about.   I actuallly want to share about my new-found love for actual Darkness. (the absence of light)

Since the beginning of March I’ve been working at a pharmaceutical plant called “Hospira.”  As most people know, I work the ungodly hours of 12:00a.m. to 8:00 a.m. with a little overtime here and there.   When I took the job, I had many thoughts mostly consisting of “no problem” and “I got this” and most importantly “I stayed up really late a lot in college so I’m used to it.”  For anyone who thinks “Bro-ing out” until 3 or 4 in the morning every weekend will prepare you for consistently working overnight YOU ARE WRONG. 

Now this next paragraph gets technical.  Above you will see a rough outline of my sleep/work schedule from last week.  I wanted to show you this and so I can explain in better detail the situation I’m in.  As you can see, I had to switch shifts with someone on Saturday so that throws off my entire week.  A lot of times you see me only sleep about 5 or 6 hours at a time.  Well if you take a situation like the weekend.  I had to work my normal night shift on Friday morning but then I had to work the day shift on Saturday.  So the solution is to sleep enough on Friday to get me through the day, but not too much so I can still sleep on Friday night to prepare myself for my Saturday day shift.  But I don’t sleep too much Friday night so I’ll be tired enough to get the much-needed rest on Saturday evening to get me through my Sunday morning shift plus church.   It’s way too complicated and that is just one tiny example of the planning I have to do just to get some sleep.  There is a lot of planning ahead involved.  I have to make sure I sleep the perfect amount on a Friday to make sure I feel alright on a Sunday.  It is absolutely crazy.  If anything throws of the schedule I am super tired and cranky for the next couple of days.  And don’t ask how I’ve been able to manage going to these weddings, and parties for friends.  The  whole “sleep” thing just goes right out the window.  It doesn’t happen. 

Now with all this scheduling that occurs I have to make sure I have the right tools to put my sleep planning into action.  I’ve found that when I get off of work at 8:00 am, it is human nature to want to stay awake and experience the day.  I walk outside and the sun is shining while the birds are singing.  So much is happening and I have to tell my body that it needs to lie down and sleep.  I have to shut the world out and it is very difficult to do.  Most of my friends know that I hate missing things.  It is a terrible quality to have but I must face the facts.  I lay down thinking “What am I going to miss today?”  It’s torture for a guy like me.   I do want to thank Lebron for making his “Decision” during the evening time.  He’s not such a bad guy after all.  Anyways these things that occur are all distractions from the ultimate goal of my day… sleep.  So I have my sleeping tools : sleep mask,  ear plugs, 2 sets of black curtains, 2 Motrin PM, and sometimes a glass of wine (Thanks to Womack).  By the way, I used to think people who wore sleep masks where complete divas.  Not anymore, although I’m still a diva, but for separate reasons.   

If you notice in the schedule that there are some blank spots, just fill that in with “wedding planning.”   It’s really tough doing all of this and trying to plan a wedding.  I do my absolute best to not come out of my room pissed off at the world.  I give a huge round of applause to Kelli for putting up with “Cranky Jason” 5 out of the 7 days of the week.   I give a lot of credit to people who have done this for years and still manage to raise a family.  I have so much respect for the mothers and fathers who can pull it off.  Another round of applause for them.  It is truly amazing.

So back to the heart of this blog… darkness.  It’s the most beautiful thing to me.  When I get to sleep at night, in the dark, I am so happy.  The entire day, I am almost giddy with excitement.  With darkness, all of my sleep troubles are gone.   The Lord provides me with a natural sleep mask, curtains, sleeping pills, ear plugs, and even alcoholic beverages.  I used to think of heaven as this really white place, that is extremely bright with angels singing.  Now I picture heaven as this pitch dark place that is absolutely silent with a giant bed.  So for anyone reading this, I hope you take away one thing.  I hope you lay down, either by yourself or with your spouse, and thank God for giving us the dark.  It is a simple gift that is certainly missed when it’s gone.


I wanted to take a moment to remember our dog. He died last week and he was the greatest dog I’ve ever known.  He was a true bro and a best friend.  Tonka was going to be a part of our tiny little family in Chicago and he will  be extremely missed.    I thank God for blessing us with him for the short amount of time he was here with us.  We loved him very much.   R.I.P. Tonka (August 2009 – August 2010)



One Response to “I Heart Darkness”

  1. Francoise Harshbarger Says:

    Sleep masks do help in getting a better quality of sleep to prevent those annoying bright lights. ‘

    Latest posting coming from our very own web portal

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