What to do with these lemons?

September 7, 2010

Hello my friends.  I have been told that I need to blog more.  I actually had another post I had written 2 nights ago  but it was so negative.  I may have to save that post for a later date.  I complain entirely too much in it and given the fact that my last post was basically  me crying about work, I am going to go with being more positive in this post. I’m sick of life handing me lemons and me not making my lemonade.   I don’t want to just be negative all the time.  I feel like I may be leaving a very pessimistic legacy for myself.   I don’t want someone to sit my great-grandchildren down and say “You’re great  Grandpappi Jason,  he could whine and complain with the best of em’.”  No… I will be happier and more positive because that’s who I am.  No more cynicism or skepticism or negativity.  Life is great.  Think positive thoughts…

Who am I kidding?   Negativity is in my blood.  Here are 3 short stories to prove that point.

Story #1:  Alright so I’ve gotten to know people around this town pretty well.  I see them at work, at church, or at Wal-Mart and it’s always fairly pleasant.  There is a friend of Kelli’s that we see sometimes and she is a very nice girl.  But one thing I’ve learned about this town is, anyone who is a decent high school athlete is basically a celebrity.  Almost every time I see that girl she tells me about this runner at the local high school… Adam somethings.  Multiple people have told me that I HAVE to see him run.  He is a senior distance runner and he is just incredible.  Finally I asked what exactly he runs and the girl told me it was the mile.  Then I asked what his fastest mile time was and she answered… 4:52.  I asked her if she meant 3:52 and she said “no, he ran a 4:52 at the district meet last year.”   I questioned if that was the right time because well, that was my fastest time and I was like the 5th fastest mile runner on my high school team.  I am not trying to sound arrogant but I’m sorry I was not about to go watch someone do something that I have done.  That would be like if someone said “Hey Jason, you have to see this guy play basketball.  He can shoot like 1 for 15 and with a running start, he can touch the net.”  Or how about… “Yo Jason, you should come out and watch this guy play golf.  He shoots like a 130 in 18 holes on his best day.”   I’m having fun with this.  One more… “Sup Jason?  Hey, you should check out this guitarist in this band.  He can play a the G chord pretty well.  Not the F though….  that really hurts his fingers.”   See where I’m coming from?  The bottom line is, I’ve never seen so much hype for mediocrity.  I ended up watching him run.  It was the slowest 5:10 mile I’ve seen in my life.  That’s right… he didn’t break 5 minutes.

Story #2:  One night Kelli and I decided we wanted to go on a date.  I did a little research on the interweb to see what kind of fun things there are to do in Kansas.  I was super excited when I saw that there was a local “indie theater” about 20 minutes from us.  Not to mention tonight was opening night for “Winter’s Bone.”  (95% on Rotten Tomatoes) I was even more pumped because it was the only theater in the state that was playing the movie.  So Kelli and I drive to Salina, KS where it was playing.  (Side note:  The first time I went to Salina was on our way to Orrey’s wedding.  Brandon Loeser convinced  Gabe that the place was pronounced “Selena”  like the spanish singer.  So,  I already have great memories from Salina)  Anyways, the plan was to get to the theater about an hour and a half early to get tickets, then grab a bite to eat and come back to the movie without any worries of “will we get tickets?”  .  We really wanted to play it safe.  Kent Wolever always said 90% of the fun of going to movies is getting there early and getting a great seat.  Well we get to the door and the place is locked.  There was a sign with a doorbell that said “ring bell”  so I did just that.  A man came to the door with the most puzzled look on his face.  His face was so confused that I asked “Is this the movie theater?” even though it said “THEATER” in huge letters on the building.  That’s how much his face made me doubt myself.  Anyways, he nodded yes, and I said “Oh, well we want 2 tickets for “Winter’s Bone.”  He then said “The movie doesn’t start for an hour and a half.”  I said, “Oh I know, I just wanted to get tickets early to be safe.”  And in the rudest little tone you can imagine the man first chuckled and then said ” I think you’ll be fine.”  I actually said “Ok.”   I wanted to say “Well to hell with me  for thinking that I would need to buy tickets early for a movie.  You know… a movie that has so much “Oscar Buzz” surrounding it you could vomit and only your theater is playing it in the state.  I’m such a Jackass.  I think I’ll go put my head in a hole now.   Screw me and thanks a bunch.”  I wanted to say that… give or take a few curse words, but I took a second and just said “Ok.”  We ended up seeing it, despite my best efforts to convince Kelli that we did not need to support that place.  In the end, I liked the movie and they had cheap candy so I came around.  

Story #3:  Kelli and I drove 15 minutes to the snow cone stand.  I had my debit card, which was stupid because trying to pay with a debit card in this town is like trying to pay with euros.  I also had 2 bucks in cash-money thinking I’d be fine.  We wait in line and finally get to the stand and I ask how much their smallest snow cone was.  It was $3.50 for the kiddie size.  How ridiculous is that?  I didn’t realize we were at  the Ritz Carlton of snow cone stands.  So not only could we not get a snow cone, we couldn’t get one kiddie snow cone to share.  So in front of a crowd of people , we had to take this embarrassing walk of shame back to the car because we were the couple who couldn’t afford to share a snow cone.

***BONUS STORY:  While I’m sharing with you stories of complaining I might as well go all out.  I’m at work right now.  It’s 7:30  on a  Tuesday morning.  Tonight was supposed to be my night off but I got called in at 9:00 pm.  This is after I stayed up all day yesterday to spend time with my fiance on a rare day that we both have off.  I also worked the night before.  So in conclusion, I feel terrible and haven’t slept since 2:30 pm on Sunday afternoon.  But I think I am turning over a new leaf and starting to see things more positively.   Because of all this sleeplessness, on Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment to get some Ambien!   I’m actually very excited and you should be too.   The  Ambien induced blog posts about who’s out to get me are going to be awesome.  So life is looking pretty optimistic now.  Life is handing me lemons, and now I’m making Ambien.


I Heart Darkness

September 1, 2010

Well, it’s been a crazy couple of weeks.  I would like to apologize to anyone (Mirela Watson) who has experienced personal trauma due to the fact that I have not updated my blog in a while.  I am truly sorry for this.  

Anyways,  I thought it would be nice to give my friends some insight into what my life is like these days.  Judging by the title of the blog one may be thinking that I am going to dive into some really deep and heavy stuff.  Or  I could share about my recent musical phase of listening to bands like “Taking Back Sunday”, “Brand New”, and “Something Corporate” for the past 3 weeks.   Or we could talk about that one time my brother wanted to change his name to ZION, dyed his hair green, threw on some eye liner and performed his song called “The Scary Mirrors” at  halftime of Super Bowl  XXXIV in our living room.   Actually, that last one may be way too dark to talk about.   I actuallly want to share about my new-found love for actual Darkness. (the absence of light)

Since the beginning of March I’ve been working at a pharmaceutical plant called “Hospira.”  As most people know, I work the ungodly hours of 12:00a.m. to 8:00 a.m. with a little overtime here and there.   When I took the job, I had many thoughts mostly consisting of “no problem” and “I got this” and most importantly “I stayed up really late a lot in college so I’m used to it.”  For anyone who thinks “Bro-ing out” until 3 or 4 in the morning every weekend will prepare you for consistently working overnight YOU ARE WRONG. 

Now this next paragraph gets technical.  Above you will see a rough outline of my sleep/work schedule from last week.  I wanted to show you this and so I can explain in better detail the situation I’m in.  As you can see, I had to switch shifts with someone on Saturday so that throws off my entire week.  A lot of times you see me only sleep about 5 or 6 hours at a time.  Well if you take a situation like the weekend.  I had to work my normal night shift on Friday morning but then I had to work the day shift on Saturday.  So the solution is to sleep enough on Friday to get me through the day, but not too much so I can still sleep on Friday night to prepare myself for my Saturday day shift.  But I don’t sleep too much Friday night so I’ll be tired enough to get the much-needed rest on Saturday evening to get me through my Sunday morning shift plus church.   It’s way too complicated and that is just one tiny example of the planning I have to do just to get some sleep.  There is a lot of planning ahead involved.  I have to make sure I sleep the perfect amount on a Friday to make sure I feel alright on a Sunday.  It is absolutely crazy.  If anything throws of the schedule I am super tired and cranky for the next couple of days.  And don’t ask how I’ve been able to manage going to these weddings, and parties for friends.  The  whole “sleep” thing just goes right out the window.  It doesn’t happen. 

Now with all this scheduling that occurs I have to make sure I have the right tools to put my sleep planning into action.  I’ve found that when I get off of work at 8:00 am, it is human nature to want to stay awake and experience the day.  I walk outside and the sun is shining while the birds are singing.  So much is happening and I have to tell my body that it needs to lie down and sleep.  I have to shut the world out and it is very difficult to do.  Most of my friends know that I hate missing things.  It is a terrible quality to have but I must face the facts.  I lay down thinking “What am I going to miss today?”  It’s torture for a guy like me.   I do want to thank Lebron for making his “Decision” during the evening time.  He’s not such a bad guy after all.  Anyways these things that occur are all distractions from the ultimate goal of my day… sleep.  So I have my sleeping tools : sleep mask,  ear plugs, 2 sets of black curtains, 2 Motrin PM, and sometimes a glass of wine (Thanks to Womack).  By the way, I used to think people who wore sleep masks where complete divas.  Not anymore, although I’m still a diva, but for separate reasons.   

If you notice in the schedule that there are some blank spots, just fill that in with “wedding planning.”   It’s really tough doing all of this and trying to plan a wedding.  I do my absolute best to not come out of my room pissed off at the world.  I give a huge round of applause to Kelli for putting up with “Cranky Jason” 5 out of the 7 days of the week.   I give a lot of credit to people who have done this for years and still manage to raise a family.  I have so much respect for the mothers and fathers who can pull it off.  Another round of applause for them.  It is truly amazing.

So back to the heart of this blog… darkness.  It’s the most beautiful thing to me.  When I get to sleep at night, in the dark, I am so happy.  The entire day, I am almost giddy with excitement.  With darkness, all of my sleep troubles are gone.   The Lord provides me with a natural sleep mask, curtains, sleeping pills, ear plugs, and even alcoholic beverages.  I used to think of heaven as this really white place, that is extremely bright with angels singing.  Now I picture heaven as this pitch dark place that is absolutely silent with a giant bed.  So for anyone reading this, I hope you take away one thing.  I hope you lay down, either by yourself or with your spouse, and thank God for giving us the dark.  It is a simple gift that is certainly missed when it’s gone.


I wanted to take a moment to remember our dog. He died last week and he was the greatest dog I’ve ever known.  He was a true bro and a best friend.  Tonka was going to be a part of our tiny little family in Chicago and he will  be extremely missed.    I thank God for blessing us with him for the short amount of time he was here with us.  We loved him very much.   R.I.P. Tonka (August 2009 – August 2010)


“The In Between”

August 17, 2010

So I got a blog.  I haven’t done it since xanga, even though I’ve wanted to.  I’ve been reading the blogs of The Dilbecks and The McFarlands, and it inspired me to write my own.  By the way, both blogs are great.  I’m still waiting on DH to post a blog, especially since it seems Mac is the busy one and Dale…well Dale is probably in his  sweatpants.  Anyways, let it begin.

I wondered what I should talk about in my first post.  I could give you the full details of my miserable job/schedule, but I wouldn’t want to depress people.   Or I could piss off one of my good friends, Drew Melton, and give you my personal views on politics,  but, like Drew has pointed out several times before, being a voting American citizen does not qualify me to talk about such things.  Maybe I will talk about the obvious summer choice… Lebron.

No, I’ve decided to talk about “The In Between.”  For all of you who haven’t seen or read “The Lovely Bones”, “The In Between” is the place between heaven and earth.   In “The Lovely Bones” the main character has died and left earth to go to her own personal heaven.  This is a place that acts like a prison where she must stay until her soul is at peace.  Once this happens she is off to actual heaven forever where she will be free. 

I feel that right now I am in “The In Between”, a place between heaven and earth.  For those of you who have been engaged or are engaged, I’m sure you can relate.  The earth I am speaking of is the single life.  I was once in a place where my only worries and concerns were for myself.  I did everything in my power to have the maximum amount of fun, every single day.  I was like a super hero… Social Man.  I worked a job that I enjoyed by half-day, and hung out with my friends by night.  It was a wonderful place full of laughter and Dr. Pepper. 

The heaven that I am speaking of  is married life.  It is a place that I cannot wait to get to.  I will finally get to pursue my dreams alongside the woman that I love.  We will go to a new city to start a new life.  Some of the people we care about most will be nearby to enjoy it with us.  I will be a husband and she will be a wife.  We will be truly happy once and for all.  That place seems like it’s only a dream like the song “Somewhere Over The Rainbow.” (I’m in Kansas.  I had to reference OZ)

And then there’s this place I’m in now… “The In Between.”  Getting little glimpses of both worlds.  I get to hang out with Kelli in the evenings, and travel to see my friends on a few weekends while keeping up with them on twitter.  I work the graveyard shift so I can save until I one day get to my heaven.  All I do is look forward to the next chapter while sometimes I miss certain elements of the last.  I’m not sure how much I’ll miss this chapter of my life though.  So this is my life right now.  In approximately 3 months I’ll finally get to be married.  I’m more excited about this than I think I’ve ever been about anything.

Well this is my first blog post.  There will be many more to come.  I’m sure that when the wedding comes I will change the name. (I’m proud of the name, by the way)  For those of you who are thinking “what in the world is Jason going to blog about, his life is so boring…and he also sucks at grammar”, don’t you worry.   I have an odd life right now that I think warrants a good blog post or two.   As far as the grammar goes, worry… worry hard.